- Image via Wikipedia
I know there are many camps out there as to how to raise your kids. There’s the Dr. Spock method, there’s “it takes a village”, there’s timeouts vs spanking, but for me, there’s one thing I’ve always believed in…The Warner Bros method. What is that, you say? That’s when you raise your kids and let them watch all the old Warner Bros cartoons. You know, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Road Runner, The Coyote…and the list goes on and on. And I mean the real versions of those cartoons, not the sterilized versions they would show on TV in the 90′s.
I grew up with Elmer Fudd shooting Daffy Duck in the face, and the only thing that would happen was Daffy’s bill would end up somewhere else on his face, and he’d have a little soot to show for it. That was funny. Then someone decided that was too violent and it might make kids actually go around and shoot their friends and family in the face. So, they changed the cartoons. Now when Daffy got shot in the face, they’d cut away to a still shot of Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, or maybe a freakin’ bush, just so they wouldn’t show Daffy getting shot in the face. We still KNEW it happened. We heard the gunshot, and we’d cut back to Daffy and see his bill on the backside of his head, so all we were missing was the actual visual, but dammit, I wanted that visual. That was part of the fun! You see, I wasn’t any more likely to shoot my friends or family in the face because of it, and you know why? Because I knew it WASN’T REAL! How did I know that? Because I was taught it wasn’t real and that wasn’t the way it would REALLY happen in real life.
That’s the real trick, isn’t it? I was taught it wasn’t real. I wasn’t just stuck in front of the TV thinking it would raise me and that I would never see anything objectionable. And that’s the problem with these idiots who made them sterilize my Bugs Bunny. They didn’t want to take responsibility if their kids shot someone in the face, that they hadn’t taught their kids the difference between real life and cartoons. They wanted to be able to blame someone else. A problem that seems to plague this country at times. It’s McDonald’s fault I spilled Hot Coffee on my crotch! They should have warned me when I ordered coffee that it would be hot! I had no idea! Geez, what a bunch of morons.
So, now I would like to thank Cartoon Network for bringing back all the old Warner Bros cartoons. Not only bringing them back, but also showing Daffy getting shot in the face during the promos. That’s classic stuff. And for those of you that have a problem with that, either change the channel or raise your kids right.
Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Fire! BLAMMO! Great stuff.
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#1 by Ian on December 2, 2009 - 12:00 pm
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I understand it was just an offhand comment and I know its not the main point of your article, which I enjoyed, but I feel compelled to help reverse some of the mythology of the McDonald’s coffee lawsuit.
It wasn’t McDonald’s fault that she spilled the coffee — however, the plaintiff’s defense, she was a passenger and the car was stopped. At the time it was corporate policy to serve the coffee at around 185 degrees — a temperature that, by the admission of their own QA manager made their coffee not “fit for consumption.”
Liebeck, the plaintiff in this case suffered 3rd degree burns within 2 to 3 seconds and was in the hospital for 8 days.
Liebeck, who had never sued anybody before started by simply asking McDonald’s for $11,000 to cover her medical expenses. Only after they refused did she pursue damages via legal means.
You can learn a lot more about this case here: http://www.jtexconsumerlaw.com/V11N1/Coffee.pdf
#2 by Brian on December 5, 2009 - 12:34 pm
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OK, first, sorry it took so long for me to approve the comment here, but it was flagged as spam, and I hadn’t looked at it yet.
Second, I will still kindly disagree. Yes, it terrible that she got third degree burns, however, maybe if she hadn’t been holding the coffee between her knees while taking the lid off of it, she wouldn’t have spilled it all over herself in the first place. Secondly, if all she wanted was medical bills paid, then why did they go for a multimillion dollar lawsuit? I know they eventually settled on some other unknown amount, but 2.7 million? Geez.
Then look at the actual standards for brewing coffee from The National Coffee Association of U.S.A. They instruct that coffee should be brewed “between 195-205 degrees Fahrenheit [91–96 °C] for optimal extraction” and consumed “immediately”. If not consumed immediately, the coffee is to be “maintained at 180-185 degrees Fahrenheit”, which is exactly what McDonald’s was doing. Plus the fact that simply pouring the coffee immediately starts to lower its temperature, as well as the fact that there were already warning labels on the coffee cup cautioning the consumer that the coffee was hot.
And the fact that similar cases in the UK have been thrown out of court for these or very similar reasons. In short, coffee is hot, is meant to be hot, and treat it with caution like you would any other hot object.
#3 by Aimee Loubert on December 31, 2009 - 8:16 am
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Whaddya mean that we are supposed to take personal responsibility for our lives? I hear that there really is no such thing as common sense, but I disagree:
Coffee=hot=don’t hold it on your lap and remove the lid while in a car=common sense.
Kids=a handful+love+conversation+boundaries+fun= common sense.